The parable of the wise man building his house on the rock was a familiar one to our church fellowship class. But as my friend Sam spoke, reflective silence enveloped the room. In recent months Sam had faced the pain of a parent's death, financial burdens, his wife's health needs, and the ever-present demands of a multiply-handicapped son. Sam, however, spoke of the joy and peace that comes from a life built on the foundation of Christ and His Word. Then he delivered the clincher: "It's too late to start laying the foundation when the flood waters are rising."

As Sam spoke of the years of disciplined devotional life and Scripture memory that were his foundation, God reminded me how important it is to to help others build their foundations before the storms arrive.

A discipler can spend his life in either a reactive or a proactive mode. We can give ourselves to filling sand bags in a panic effort to keep out the floods of life, or we can engage in helping others lay the type of foundation that will withstand the storm. A reactive discipler is like a lifeguard—he spends his time poised to respond to urgent needs. He is more like a crisis counselor than a discipler. In contrast, a proactive discipler is not a lifeguard but a coach. He trains people to swim, helps them strengthen their strokes, and devises personalized conditioning programs.

I meet with a friend I'll call "Don" on a regular basis. He comes from a severely dysfunctional family, battles several addictive behaviors, and his marriage is on the brink of divorce. Obviously there is more than enough to react to in his life. I could counsel and empathize with him for hours. We could spend our Bible study time seeking comforting passages or answers to his problems. We could find a support group of people with similar needs. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but I believe that God wants more for his life—and so does Don.

Although I want to be in touch with Don's daily pressures and emotions, the goal of our time is to get him in touch with Christ and the truth of His Word. In the process we are building Don a new identity, a new foundation, based on who he is in Christ. I believe these proactive steps will prevent some "self-inflicted storms" and prepare him to better deal with the inevitable tempests of life.

What are the important elements in a proactive discipling relationship?

Fellowship with God. One morning a week I meet with Don for a quiet time. We read a chapter in the Bible aloud a few verses at a time, pausing to pray about the things that God impresses on our hearts. Helping someone cultivate regular fellowship with God in His Word is the most proactive discipling step we can take.

Ownership of goals. Don and I are accountable to each other about our devotional lives. Now I want him to gradually identify other areas of his life for which he can become accountable. Eventually we will identify spiritual goals regarding character, marriage, family, and profession. Don says he desires to make Christ the Lord of these areas of life, and these are goals he feels God would have him pursue. He has taken ownership, an important step in his growing spiritual maturity.

Stewardship of gifts. As a disciple grows spiritually he begins to realize that God blesses him in order to make him a blessing. Real growth begins when we discover and use our spiritual gifts to serve others. This is the ultimate in proactivity.

Don has begun to share Christ with coworkers who have sensed his newly found peace in the face of tumultuous circumstances. This step follows naturally from the others. Because we have been focusing on Don as a new person in Christ, he has a positive outlook and naturally relates the hope of Christ to others. Rather than fighting a defensive battle, he is on the offensive, living for Christ.

In the early stages of a discipling ministry we may need to fill a few sand bags to hold back the rushing torrents around our wounded brothers and sisters. The lasting and more satisfying work comes when we help them lay the foundation of a new identity in Christ. Let's be proactive!

By Fred Wevodau leads a Navigator ministry in southern California.