Darlene longed to have a child. After years of waiting, blonde, blue-eyed Amber was born. She was the perfect baby. She slept, nursed, and smiled. She was never sick, always agreeable. Angel Baby became her nickname.

As Amber grew, Darlene noticed that she seemed oblivious to others. It was as if Angel Baby lived in her own heavenly world.

Amber underwent some long and agonizing testing that revealed she was autistic. Darlene and her husband went through a grieving process of understanding, accepting, and finally thanking God. Then they sought programs for autistic children.

Three years after Amber’s birth, a brown-eyed boy joined the family. Seth was a real charmer, but was he normal?

Questions stormed through Darlene’s heart. I remember the day this dear, young woman looked at me and said, “Linda, is it so wrong to want to have a normal child?”

Seth was evaluated and the therapist said, “Yes, it’s very possible that Seth is not normal, but we will have to wait and see.”

How can one live with this kind of uncertainty, with this kind of pain? “Oh God, What IfSeth is not normal — can I bear it? How do I wait months not knowing? How do I trust You in the midst of this dark tunnel?” These were the cries of Darlene’s heart.

Waiting for the What Ifs of life, for what might happen, causes the sturdiest of hearts to be anxious. How did Darlene live with her huge What If about her son?

How do you and I live with the What Ifs God allows in our lives? Darlene ended up looking at her situation through the eyes of faith. She also worked through a practical project to help her face her worst What If.

Our Trust Level

 
When What Ifs come into our lives, we must ask ourselves if we’re going to judge God by the circumstances we don’t understand or judge the circumstances in the light of the character of God.

Isaiah 41:10 declares,
Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
We can trust God only when our focus is on Him and not our circumstances.

Psalm 141:8 encourages us to fix our eyes on our Sovereign Lord and take refuge in Him. Psalm 112:7 says, “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”

Only as our hearts are fixed on our loving Lord can we be at peace in the midst of What Ifs.

How wonderful it is to be assured that as we choose to fix our hearts on God, He — at the same time — upholds them!

Most Christians are able to initially trust God with their problems. Then the doubts begin: Does God know that Seth may not be normal?

Does God know that my daughter is ill and living in survival mode? Does God know I might have cancer? Does God know my teenager is tempted by drugs?

We find ourselves playing catch with God: Oh God, You might drop her; let me have her back and I’ll worry about her. Surely that will help.

Our trust level must be higher if we are to learn the secret of contentment. We must give the ball to God and leave it there. No more games of catch.

Are you going to judge God by the circumstances you don’t understand or judge the circumstances in the light of the character of God?

*****

This article is adapted from Trusting God with My What Ifs and Whys by Linda Dillow and was originally posted on The Disciple-Maker Blog.