{"id":11805,"date":"2022-05-17T19:35:02","date_gmt":"2022-05-17T19:35:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/?p=11805"},"modified":"2023-06-30T14:41:54","modified_gmt":"2023-06-30T14:41:54","slug":"are-you-up-to-the-call-of-caregiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2022\/05\/are-you-up-to-the-call-of-caregiving\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Up to the Call of Caregiving?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Sheila glowed with youth and life. So did her husband, though his bulky power wheelchair somewhat cramped Tim\u2019s style. The four of us had arranged to meet for dinner at a restaurant, where we could trade stories and get to know each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their how-we-met-and married saga turned out to be as charming as they were. They\u2019d known each other since kindergarten, but their casual friendship didn\u2019t deepen until after his diving accident. Tim waited a full year, wanting to make sure Sheila understood what she was getting herself into. Only then did he ask her to marry him, and she said yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll<\/em> say she did.\u201d Tim grinned. \u201cShe didn\u2019t even wait for me to finish the question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sheila grinned back. \u201cI\u2019d already waited too long.\u201d Now, that\u2019s romance!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We in turn told about a cold January weekend when David and I led a marriage seminar at a downtown hotel. Back then, David could handle the three steps at our back door, so we didn\u2019t yet have a house ramp or converted van. To save time with our early morning start from home, I\u2019d packed his manual wheelchair in the car trunk the night before. We got to the hotel, I assembled the wheelchair, and David sat down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thunk!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overnight, his chair\u2019s gel cushion had frozen solid. To make matters worse, the heat malfunctioned in our part of the hotel. Everyone at the seminar was shivering\u2014 even those of us who didn\u2019t have to sit on a block of ice. The cushion took hours to thaw, and David never really warmed up that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not romantic like their tale, but funny. Sheila laughed long and loud, then sighed and said, \u201cI love stories like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After dinner, the four of us left the restaurant together. Tim and Sheila watched with interest as I helped David stand for his transfer into our car. The people from the SUV next to us showed up just then and stood around waiting for us to get out of their way. Flustered, I tried to hurry the transfer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sheila spoke up, her voice firm and confident. \u201cTake your time. They\u2019ll wait.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, David sat safely down on the passenger seat. I swung his legs in, closed the door, and hustled his wheelchair back to the trunk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cG\u2019night,\u201d Tim said. \u201cLet\u2019s do this again. It\u2019s good to talk to someone who can relate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDefinitely! This was great.\u201d Sheila hopped up to stand on the back of Tim\u2019s chair, holding onto its handles. She turned to wave at us and rode jauntily off to their van.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the gathering darkness of the spring evening, their beauty pierced my soul. Tim and Sheila understood their challenges and met them with grace, youth, and clear thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The SUV beside us drove away. Feeling dull, middle-aged, and foolish, I climbed into our trusty Chevrolet, buckled us both in, and headed for home. David and Tim might stay in touch, but I doubted Sheila and I would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had it all together. She didn\u2019t need me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

David and Tim did stay in touch. They talked by phone every month or so, but the four of us didn\u2019t get together again for another year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That evening, we met at the same restaurant as before, but the atmosphere around our table felt different. Tim went on at length about his legal studies and a new physical therapy he was trying. Sheila seemed quieter than before, less ready to laugh. This was probably true of David and me as well. All I remember is listening, watching, and feeling vaguely uneasy. I don\u2019t recall how the evening ended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next time David called Tim, we learned that Sheila had left him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A year earlier, the beauty of their hope-filled story had pierced my heart. Now their affliction did the same. Sheila had believed she knew what she was getting herself into. But caregiving <\/a>is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your friends plan a hiking trip. That\u2019ll be fun. Sure wish I could go.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Waking up tired, you face an hour-plus of hard work getting your person ready for the day. Can I do this for the rest of my life?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, Was this a big mistake?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finally, I\u2019m trapped.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doubt. Resentment. Guilt. Shame. Fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It helps to have people around who understand. Why didn\u2019t Sheila call me? Maybe she had others to talk with. Or maybe she didn\u2019t know that\u2019s what she needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why didn\u2019t I call her? What if I had<\/em> called her? Would that have made any difference?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t have answers, but one thing I do know: Never again will I look at a caregiver <\/a>and think, They have it all together<\/em>. Because none of us do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I dithered about writing this. I almost didn\u2019t. But my friend Jani, who cared for her mother for many years, said, \u201cThis is the elephant in the room for every caregiver<\/a>. What if I can\u2019t do this? What if I fail?<\/em> You have to get it out in the open.\u201d She\u2019s right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Jill Brown<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

is on staff with The Navigators, where she provides part-time pastoral care for those serving in ministry. She has been the caregiver <\/a>for her husband, David, who is also on staff with The Navigators, since his bicycling accident in 2009.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
More from Jill<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sheila glowed with youth and life. So did her husband, though his bulky power wheelchair somewhat cramped Tim\u2019s style. The four of us had arranged to meet for dinner at a restaurant, where we could trade stories and get to … <\/p>\n

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