{"id":13787,"date":"2025-07-09T12:22:32","date_gmt":"2025-07-09T17:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/?p=13787"},"modified":"2025-07-09T12:22:32","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T17:22:32","slug":"the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/","title":{"rendered":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

One area in my life where I am hearing new truth reflects my sense of personal responsibility in all walks of life. Being overly responsible has been an issue for me for years. I thought I had resolved the problem years ago when I decided that I just needed \u201ckeep going on when the going gets tough.\u201d How wrong I was! My compulsive responsibility and the reality of my life are shouting at me as I age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love helping people. I love solving problems. I love being seen as a responsible person. I have always been responsible\u2014for myself, for others, for the world. I read the Bible to see what I should be doing. I listen to others to see what they need. I keep up with the news to see if there are any international responsibilities I need to attend to. I am, truthfully, rather proud of my ability to be responsible. Letting go of my assumptions about responsibility seems like a violation of my faith journey. And letting go means facing my fear that I might become a couch potato. It also means admitting the pride driving my choices about how to be responsible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now that my body is aging<\/a>, I am getting very tired of the burden of my compulsive responsibility. My aging body is calling into question my familiar assumptions about the value I place on what I accomplish. Questioning these assumptions has led me to the throne of God in prayer. Sometimes when someone asks me to do something, I think, There is no way I can do that! Quietly and gently, God\u2019s Spirit often whispers to my spirit, You don\u2019t have to do it all. In all honestly, even standing at the throne of grace, I often resist, Oh, God, you don\u2019t understand. I do have to do it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last summer, I decided to practice the \u201cdiscipline of irresponsibility.\u201d (I made up that discipline under the prompting of the Holy Spirit.) I could see signs in my life of compulsively saying yes to requests for help. I admitted to myself that I was finding validation in being available to meet any need I sniffed out\u2014in my family, my community, and my church. It was untenable for me to think of not being responsible. Who would I be if I didn\u2019t meet the needs I thought other people had? The Spirit suggested to me that I try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided, with God\u2019s grace<\/a>, that if a request came my way when I knew I was too tired to go, or too overloaded to find the brain space to respond, I would look at that overload as an invitation from God to say no to the request. I found out that this is very hard for me to do! It means that sometimes I am lying on the sofa reading a book when I should (in my mind) be out meeting a need. It means asking what will bring me health and peace rather than asking my default question: What do I think needs to be done here? Or the question I can hardly admit: What can I do to impress God and other people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An amazing thing happened on the way to the sofa. I did not become a couch potato. Instead, I discovered that my compulsive need to be responsible is not always the Word of the Lord, or even the expectations of those I loved. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Through the discipline of irresponsibility, I discovered the joy of love. It was as though God had prepared loving things for me to do and I did them better after spending time on the sofa. Then I remembered that God had, in fact, prepared good works for me\u2014good works for my young adult years, good works for midlife, and now good works for my senior years. \u201cWe are God\u2019s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do\u201d (Ephesians 2:10). When I compulsively rushed out to do whatever I thought \u201cneeded\u201d to be done, or when I insisted that I should still do the good works of my younger years, I probably missed some of the works prepared for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It brings me joy that I am still growing. To me, that makes getting older worth the costs of aging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Alice Fryling<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

is a spiritual director and author. Her books on relationships, spiritual formation, and spiritual direction have sold over half a million copies and are published in over ten languages. She and her husband, Bob, are parents of two daughters and grandparents of two grandsons and two granddaughters. They live in Monument, Colorado. Learn more about Alice Fryling at www.alicefryling.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
More from Alice<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One area in my life where I am hearing new truth reflects my sense of personal responsibility in all walks of life. Being overly responsible has been an issue for me for years. I thought I had resolved the problem … <\/p>\n

Read moreThe Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":13755,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":""},"categories":[3,8],"tags":[588,589,774],"yoast_head":"\nThe Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One area in my life where I am hearing new truth reflects my sense of personal responsibility in all walks of life. Being overly responsible has been an issue for me for years. I thought I had resolved the problem ... Read moreThe Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Disciplemaker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/12\/Aging-Faithfully-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"The Disciplemaker Team\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"The Disciplemaker Team\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"The Disciplemaker Team\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/93a9f96b87ecc4b881dfad8ff1633c6a\"},\"headline\":\"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\"},\"wordCount\":804,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Aging Faithfully\",\"Alice Fryling\",\"Irresponsible\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Discipleship\",\"Grow\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\",\"name\":\"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/\",\"name\":\"The Disciplemaker\",\"description\":\"Bold. Loving. Sensible.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization\",\"name\":\"NavPress\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/cropped-The-Disciplemaker.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/cropped-The-Disciplemaker.png\",\"width\":4092,\"height\":818,\"caption\":\"NavPress\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/93a9f96b87ecc4b881dfad8ff1633c6a\",\"name\":\"The Disciplemaker Team\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8c80e1df93ad3ab45bbdaa8ee23f7f82?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8c80e1df93ad3ab45bbdaa8ee23f7f82?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"The Disciplemaker Team\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/author\/jessica\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker","og_description":"One area in my life where I am hearing new truth reflects my sense of personal responsibility in all walks of life. Being overly responsible has been an issue for me for years. I thought I had resolved the problem ... Read moreThe Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something","og_url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/","og_site_name":"The Disciplemaker","article_published_time":"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1080,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/12\/Aging-Faithfully-1.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"The Disciplemaker Team","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"The Disciplemaker Team","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/"},"author":{"name":"The Disciplemaker Team","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/93a9f96b87ecc4b881dfad8ff1633c6a"},"headline":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something","datePublished":"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00","dateModified":"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/"},"wordCount":804,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization"},"keywords":["Aging Faithfully","Alice Fryling","Irresponsible"],"articleSection":["Discipleship","Grow"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/","url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/","name":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something - The Disciplemaker","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#website"},"datePublished":"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00","dateModified":"2025-07-09T17:22:32+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2025\/07\/the-discipline-of-irresponsibility-taught-me-something\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Discipline of Irresponsibility Taught Me Something"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/","name":"The Disciplemaker","description":"Bold. Loving. Sensible.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#organization","name":"NavPress","url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/cropped-The-Disciplemaker.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/cropped-The-Disciplemaker.png","width":4092,"height":818,"caption":"NavPress"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/93a9f96b87ecc4b881dfad8ff1633c6a","name":"The Disciplemaker Team","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8c80e1df93ad3ab45bbdaa8ee23f7f82?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8c80e1df93ad3ab45bbdaa8ee23f7f82?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"The Disciplemaker Team"},"url":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/author\/jessica\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13787"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13787"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13788,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13787\/revisions\/13788"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}