{"id":4344,"date":"2017-08-09T09:49:38","date_gmt":"2017-08-09T14:49:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thedisciplemaker.org\/?p=4344"},"modified":"2017-08-09T09:49:38","modified_gmt":"2017-08-09T14:49:38","slug":"murder-approval-and-being-your-brothers-keeper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2017\/08\/murder-approval-and-being-your-brothers-keeper\/","title":{"rendered":"Murder, Approval, and Being Your Brother’s Keeper"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u201cWhere is your brother?\u201d God had asked him.<\/p>\n

Cain winced as he remembered his answer, which he had also tried to bury, but like his recurring nightmare, it didn\u2019t stay buried because something deep within wouldn\u2019t allow it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he replied. \u201cAm I my brother\u2019s keeper?\u201d<\/p>\n

God never answered Cain\u2019s question.<\/p>\n

When a question like this is raised in the Scriptures and there\u2019s no answer, a long conversation about it will take place, one that spans many generations, many stories, and much conflict. This is comforting, in an odd way, isn\u2019t it? When a brother murders a brother, even in the Bible, we can\u2019t expect that it will be resolved in a single conversation.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cain worked the soil, growing fruits and vegetables. Abel tended sheep. When it came time to bring sacrifices to God, Cain brought \u201csome of the fruits of the soil\u201d as an offering. Abel, on the other hand, brought \u201cfat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock\u201d. So God considered both offerings, and God approved of Abel\u2019s but not of Cain\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Why? This seems capricious. Is this how God will treat people from now on?<\/p>\n

There\u2019s some debate about why God rejected Cain\u2019s offering while accepting Abel\u2019s. It seems unlikely that it was about fruits and vegetables versus meat. God seemed to see something in Cain\u2019s offering that was different from Abel\u2019s. Cain\u2019s name means \u201cpossession\u201d or \u201cto gain,\u201d while Abel<\/span> means \u201cbreath,\u201d \u201cvapor,\u201d or \u201cgentle breeze.\u201d What does it mean that the need to possess can choke out breath? What does it mean that the need to gain something will sometimes overpower those who are gentle?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When Abel chose to give God the fat from his firstborn sheep, he gave God something that was very close to his heart. Abel most likely came to love his sheep, especially the firstborn. Abel was giving God his best\u2014the really good stuff\u2014but I think there\u2019s more to this story than just sheep. Abel was also giving God something intimate<\/span>. When Cain chose to give God some<\/span> of the produce that he grew, he was withholding something, mistrusting God and trusting instead in the produce to provide what was needed. He was more concerned with gaining and possessing, so he gave a lesser gift.<\/p>\n

Cain hid, while Abel risked the more vulnerable option of trusting.<\/p>\n

What do you seek to possess or acquire that keeps you from intimacy? Where do you withhold your best\u2014the really good stuff\u2014because of your need to keep gaining more?<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a perfectionist, you\u2019re locking away the really good stuff until you\u2019re sure no one will reject it. You\u2019re attempting to gain more control.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a workaholic, you have convinced yourself that it\u2019s okay that your kids don\u2019t get the really good stuff from you, because they\u2019ll be taken care of financially. You\u2019re attempting to gain more money.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re addicted to approval, you\u2019ve hidden your true self so well that you can\u2019t find it anymore. As more people like<\/span> you, you realize that fewer people love<\/span> you, because you\u2019ve never given them anything real to love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The particular story of Cain and Abel becomes universal when you realize that you can kill off the gentle breeze of intimacy by attempting to possess more while you give less.<\/p>\n

I actually feel some empathy for Cain. When you start down the road of acquiring and possessing, it\u2019s hard to turn back. In my attempts to acquire and possess admiration, I have sometimes traded being known and loved for being consumed and admired. It\u2019s easier to write a blog post that gets hundreds of likes on Facebook than it is to risk rejection by saying the hard but true (and private) thing to someone with whom I live or work. But as I hold that emotion and turn it around for a while, an invitation shows up.<\/p>\n

Will I risk rejection so that someone else might be made whole?<\/p>\n

I get Cain. My desire to succeed, to win approval and admiration, feels a lot like possession. But it\u2019s hard to be your brother\u2019s keeper when you\u2019re more concerned about being more successful than your bother.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I learned to hide my disabilities, my strong emotions, and my real voice, I learned to gain success by showing how strong I was, how in control I was, how to adapt my voice to fit whatever was needed, even if it wasn\u2019t even really my voice. I\u2019ve learned to look after my own success, hedging my bets and hiding my true self because it might appear weak or out of control.<\/p>\n

Am I my brother\u2019s keeper?<\/span> is a defensive question, designed to ensure that the one who asks it can remain in hiding. It\u2019s cloaked in deceit. Cain murdered Abel, and God knew it. Cain was lying to God, but he may have even been lying to himself, unable to even see the length to which he had gone in order to gain, or acquire, for himself.<\/p>\n

This story of the first brothers\u2014and this word keeper<\/span>\u2014is the beginning of an arc that shoots all the way through the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament. I need to spend a few paragraphs building the foundation of that arc so that you can see how far it goes. I will describe how that arc continues and where it eventually goes in chapter 3. Interestingly, it involves another set of brothers who are asking the exact same question (Am I my brother\u2019s keeper?<\/span>).<\/p>\n

The word translated as \u201ckeeper\u201d is the Hebrew word shamar<\/span>, which means \u201cto keep, guard, watch over, tend, or save a life.\u201d<\/p>\n

The first usage of shamar<\/span> is found in Genesis 2:15: \u201cThe\u00a0Lord<\/span>\u00a0God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep [shamar<\/span>] it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The word translated as \u201cput\u201d is less like a chess move and more like a loving gardener planting a prized flower in just the right spot. The word translated as \u201cput\u201d is yanach<\/span>, which means \u201cto cause to rest, settle down, remain.\u201d It can even be translated as \u201ccomforted.\u201d God comforted them in the Garden so they could work<\/span>.<\/p>\n

So we might paraphrase Genesis 2:15 like this:<\/p>\n

\n

God caused the humans to be settled into the garden, where they would rest and remain. Out of that resting and remaining, they would cultivate the life that grows around them, and they would tend to that life, and guard it so that it would flourish.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Cain and Abel had the unenviable task of trying to cultivate the life that was growing around them outside<\/span> of the Garden. It was hard work, and no one had tried it before. It\u2019s always hard to go first.<\/p>\n

Cain\u2019s sin, I think, is that he was convinced he was playing a zero-sum game. If he gave his best\u2014the really good stuff\u2014away, there wouldn\u2019t be anything left to sustain him. He believed that he had to make a choice: guard his own future or guard his brother. So he guarded his future instead of his brother\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n <\/p>\n

Where are you, Cain? You can\u2019t guard anything when you\u2019re hiding.<\/p>\n

You will guard many things in your life. Some of what you guard will cause you and others to flourish, and some of what you guard will kill off the good life that is growing in you and in others.<\/p>\n

Am I my brother\u2019s keeper? <\/span>is a question asked by someone who believes in the law of scarcity: There\u2019s not enough to go around, so you need to make sure you keep enough for yourself.<\/p>\n

Have you ever ordered pizza for three people and then inwardly freaked out when you realized that you might be the person who gets only two slices? You\u2019re polite enough not to grab three pieces right away, but you want to.<\/p>\n

Many years ago, Mary and I were looking for a couch, and we ended up at a large outlet store. We were told what to do by some friends who had been there before.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet there early, because there\u2019s going to be a huge line. Then, when the doors open, run<\/span> to the back where the couches are and immediately sit on the one you like. But you\u2019re going to have to be quick and really know what you want, because usually there are only a few deals.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Click the cover to keep reading or learn more.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So we ran and immediately sat on a large gray sectional couch that was 75 percent off. We bought it and never loved it. We ended up giving it away a few years later.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a funny story until you realize that those are the same rules most of us live by in far more important matters than choosing couches.<\/p>\n

If you believe that life is a zero-sum game, you\u2019ll work hard at acquiring enough for yourself, holding back your best for sometime in the future, when there\u2019s enough to go around. There is something terrifying about giving your best to God when you don\u2019t know how you\u2019ll get what you need.<\/p>\n

And, let\u2019s be honest: Abel gave God his best and he was murdered.<\/p>\n

I wonder if we resist guarding our brother because it feels a lot like dying.<\/p>\n

Actually, I don\u2019t wonder about it, because it happened to me. My hunger to acquire almost choked out a gentle breeze.<\/p>\n

\n

You’ve been reading from Whole: Restoring What’s Broken in Me, You, and the Entire World<\/em><\/a> by Steve Wiens. Continue reading from Whole right now<\/a>. Listen to Steve on his podcast This Good Word<\/a> or check out his other book Beginnings: The First Seven Days of the Rest of Your Life\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhere is your brother?\u201d God had asked him. Cain winced as he remembered his answer, which he had also tried to bury, but like his recurring nightmare, it didn\u2019t stay buried because something deep within wouldn\u2019t allow it. \u201cI don\u2019t … <\/p>\n

Read moreMurder, Approval, and Being Your Brother’s Keeper<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":4349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMurder, Approval, and Being Your Brother's Keeper - The Disciplemaker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2017\/08\/murder-approval-and-being-your-brothers-keeper\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Murder, Approval, and Being Your Brother's Keeper - The Disciplemaker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cWhere is your brother?\u201d God had asked him. 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