{"id":4970,"date":"2018-01-05T11:33:15","date_gmt":"2018-01-05T17:33:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thedisciplemaker.org\/?p=4970"},"modified":"2018-01-05T11:33:15","modified_gmt":"2018-01-05T17:33:15","slug":"i-love-jesus-but-im-bisexual","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2018\/01\/i-love-jesus-but-im-bisexual\/","title":{"rendered":"I Love Jesus But .\u00a0.\u00a0. I\u2019m Bisexual"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>
This excerpt is taken from a conversation between two men, one who is mentoring another along the spiritual path toward acceptance in Jesus. We are joining this dialogue when the two, who have already met several times, are meeting at a restaurant to have a challenging conversation. For the full interaction, and many others, read <\/em>Talking about God: Honest Conversations About Spirituality<\/a> by Steve & Cheri Saccone.<\/em><\/h6>\n

As I pull into the parking lot, I\u2019m wondering where the discussion will lead us this time. Eric seems close to committing to Jesus. At least it seems that way to me. When he mentions God, there\u2019s hope in his eyes. That acceptance has come through his experiences in our church, the community, and the talks we\u2019ve had.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s one step outside the Kingdom.<\/h4>\n

But that last step seems long in coming. Something is holding him back. Maybe that has something to do with why he initiated getting together today. I pause for a moment and picture something in my mind\u2019s eye. I imagine him standing right at the door, ready to walk through, but hesitating and looking back to me. I offer one final prayer before our time together, a prayer that today Eric will arrive at his yes moment. I want Eric to be my brother in Christ.<\/p>\n

Whatever is at the real center of Eric\u2019s worry, the issue of first importance is that he feels safe.<\/h4>\n

\u201cEric, I know what it\u2019s like to hold on to a secret. To want to share it and to deeply fear sharing it all at the same time. All I can promise is that whatever you want to tell me, I\u2019ll walk with you through it as a friend. I\u2019m going to be on your side. Unless there\u2019s a fire in the kitchen, I\u2019m not leaving this table. One thing I can assure you of is that the relief you\u2019ll feel from opening up is worth the difficulty of doing so. And I\u2019ll also say again: It\u2019s up to you what to say, if anything. While I won\u2019t walk away, it\u2019s always your freedom to do that. That\u2019s the deal when it comes to me being your friend.\u201d
\nWhen he takes a breath and begins to speak, I know I\u2019m hearing from the most elusive, most complex character in his acting portfolio\u2014the true Eric. \u201cWell, first, I haven\u2019t done anything wrong. So it\u2019s not like I should have any real worries here. It\u2019s just that there are things you don\u2019t know about me. What you see and what God sees are two different things. And that seems important to me if you\u2019re going to counsel me as a friend.\u201d
\n\u201cWithout knowing what that thing is that\u2019s holding you back, Eric, I do know this: Nothing is larger than the love of God. Nothing at all.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s not a thing in the world that precludes the possibility of giving your life to Jesus. It\u2019s so clear all throughout the Scriptures.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u201cI want to believe that\u2014I really do. Will you still say that when I tell you .\u00a0.\u00a0. when I tell you I\u2019m bisexual? That\u2019s it right there, Steve. I\u2019m bisexual, and I don\u2019t see how I\u2019m going to change.\u201d
\nAdmittedly, I\u2019m surprised. Eric has a girlfriend, so this wasn\u2019t one of the scenarios I was anticipating. Not that I haven\u2019t had other friends who are gay or bisexual<\/a>. I\u2019ve been close friends with many people from every part of the spectrum\u2014from openly gay to those who feel same-sex attraction but who have chosen to abstain from same-sex relationships because of their beliefs. One thing I know for sure: Jesus will be anyone\u2019s friend, so I try to be the same way. In fact, Jesus went out of His way many times to be friends with people who the religious folks thought He should avoid altogether.
\nThe issue isn\u2019t what I think about it; it\u2019s clearly what Eric thinks about it, and by extension, what that means for his faith. On the one hand, Eric is saying he is bisexual as if it\u2019s an absolute declaration. But on the other hand, his body language is telling a different story. He looks tense and conflicted. His expression is not one of resolution. Rather, it is one of torment.
\nMy initial response is fairly automatic: \u201cEric, first, thank you for your transparency. It\u2019s courageous on your part, and I\u2019m honored that you can trust me with something that makes you feel so vulnerable. As you can guess, it changes nothing. You\u2019re one of the best guys I know. Period. Our friendship is one that I cherish, and something like this has no effect on it.\u201d
\nHe nods appreciatively but doesn\u2019t seem relieved. \u201cThanks. I suspected as much. I knew you well enough to know you\u2019re not fake and that you\u2019d accept me as I am. I wasn\u2019t worried about telling you this; I\u2019m more worried about what it says about me accepting Jesus. Unless I\u2019m missing something, you can\u2019t be a bisexual Christian. I don\u2019t look around the church and see that kind of profile. So that\u2019s where I am. I see Jesus and want to go to Him. I\u2019m bisexual and can\u2019t walk away from that, which means I\u2019m stuck. I believe, but I have to believe on my own. I can\u2019t stand living a lie, so I felt you should know the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s stuck. And I\u2019m stuck. That\u2019s the truth.<\/h4>\n

Of course I want to say, \u201cHey, it doesn\u2019t matter! All that matters is that you love God!\u201d But that would be kicking the can down the road on the problem he has acknowledged. There are issues here that need to be talked through. This is one of the most heartrending and explosive issues of our time. The truth as related in Scripture is permanent, immutable. It can\u2019t be molded and shaped for convenience. Yet people are what they are.
\nAgain, I\u2019m praying silently. And fervently! Help me, Lord! What am I supposed to say here? My compassion drives me to airbrush away the problems here. Help me be true to You and still loving and caring. Help me walk into this with the right dose of grace and of truth. Most of all help me show that Your love is perfect.<\/p>\n

There aren\u2019t any easy solutions, and I\u2019m not about to pretend there are.<\/h4>\n

We sit quietly, both of us thinking. After a moment, I say, \u201cIt\u2019s tough. We both know that. I can\u2019t say I know what it\u2019s like to be in your shoes, but I see that you\u2019re in deep pain, and I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d
\nIt would be easy to tell God, \u201cI\u2019m going to leave this one to You. It\u2019s way past my pay grade.\u201d Then I would smile at my friend, give a pat answer, promise to pray for him, and maybe suggest he google a support group. In other words, be a coward.
\nTruly caring about Eric as I do, that would never be an option. He is hurting, and he\u2019s looking for answers. If I don\u2019t have them, it\u2019s up to me to go with him to try to find them.
\nFinally I say, \u201cEric, I\u2019ve probably never heard your dilemma described in such an agonizingly clear way. You\u2019re very genuine and very much in touch with the crisis you find yourself in. If you were at peace or even just believed you were at peace, I would back off right here. I know what my own redemption looks and feels like, but I can\u2019t make decisions for you.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t violate your free will.<\/h4>\n

\u201cSo help me clarify something at this point. Are you looking for my take and maybe my guidance, or are you, as a friend, really letting me know about the decision you\u2019ve come to and wanting to leave it at that? For me to figure out where to go from here, I need to know where you stand. I want to honor your feelings and your beliefs. So tell me, where do you see things going?\u201d
\nI take a sip of water and brace myself as we turn the page and go even deeper together. Eric has shared his journey with such transparency. It\u2019s time to mirror that same realness as I share a bit of my own thorny road toward redemption.
\nRead more in\u00a0Talking about God: Honest Conversations About Spirituality<\/a><\/em>, by Steve & Cheri Saccone.
\n\"\"<\/a>
\n 
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