{"id":4990,"date":"2018-01-09T11:36:44","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T17:36:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thedisciplemaker.org\/?p=4990"},"modified":"2023-06-30T16:24:19","modified_gmt":"2023-06-30T16:24:19","slug":"disciples-not-dependents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2018\/01\/disciples-not-dependents\/","title":{"rendered":"Raise Disciples, Not Dependents"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div><p>If we are Christ followers, we\u2019re not raising mere dependents\u2014we\u2019re raising up disciples! Our children will do what we say for only a little while; <strong>soon they will begin doing what we do.<\/strong> Their eyes are watching what we do, their ears are listening to the tone we use in our conversations, and their mouths repeat what we say. Watch what you say because if you don\u2019t, you\u2019ll watch your children say it for you!<br \/>\nSince we have such a great impact on our children, it\u2019s safe to say <strong>we\u2019re already discipling them indirectly with our actions<\/strong>. The statement \u201cThe apple doesn\u2019t fall far from the tree\u201d is often used to describe how kids act, look, and talk like their parents. Much of this shaping doesn\u2019t happen intentionally, yet look how much they resemble us! Its eerie for me to hear our kids talk about having the same fears we had at their age\u2014information we\u2019ve never shared with them.<br \/>\nNow imagine how much we could influence our children if we intentionally instruct them according to God\u2019s Word! What we\u2019re calling for is more gospel-saturated discipleship between us as parents and the children we\u2019re raising. After all, if it\u2019s in God\u2019s will, our children will grow up and get married as well. If we set their life\u2019s rhythm to the pace of God\u2019s Word, we\u2019re creating a higher probability that they\u2019ll be more emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared for their marriages than we were. That\u2019s a goal to work toward\u2014reorienting our perspectives to view our children as disciples and not just dependents!<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-4997 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/family-hug-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"582\" height=\"388\"><br \/>\nThe same ingredients for discipleship\u2014Scripture reading and memorization, prayer, and fellowship with other saints\u2014that we\u2019ve discussed for Christian spouses should be present in the relationships with our children. When we include our children in our study of God\u2019s Word, we\u2019re proactively shaping their worldview and theological understanding. This means we\u2019re beating the world to the punch! In our family, we chose to make the necessary sacrifices to homeschool our children. But we know that not every family is called to homeschool. Neither one of us was ever homeschooled growing up, but we\u2019ve tried public and private schools in addition to homeschooling and found that the latter works best for our family.<br \/>\nI will be honest and say that 30 to 40 percent of our instruction time is spent delivering the coursework and material. The remaining 60 to 70 percent involves dealing with each child\u2019s heart issue. We take Deuteronomy 6:4-9 seriously, communicating God\u2019s Word to our children throughout the day. We share a conviction to see our children not only leave the nest but also be launched into the world as missionaries with a passion to reduce the lostness around them and help create disciples. <strong>We want them to view each gift God gives them as a tool for the mission.<\/strong> We tell them to consider their education advancements, future careers, marriages, and family expansions through the lens of their calling to share the gospel and make disciples.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_4979\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4979\" style=\"width: 333px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/p\/enter-the-ring\/9781631466953?utm_source=Disciplemaker&amp;utm_medium=Disciples%2C%20Not%20Dependents&amp;utm_campaign=Enter%20the%20Ring\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-4979\" src=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/Enter-the-Ring-833x1024.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"343\" height=\"422\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-4979\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Click the book to read chapter one.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Our children need the gospel daily just as much as we do. If our children are not believers in Christ, they should be our top evangelistic prospects. If they are believers, they need the gospel to remind them of God\u2019s love for them when they sin, disappoint us, and are disciplined by us.<br \/>\nWe will be less likely to drive our children into the false idea of performing for God\u2019s love, and our love, if we practice Ephesians 6:4, which says, \u201cFathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.\u201d We can provoke our children to anger in many ways: when we withhold clear communication from them, when we say they\u2019re just like the parent we badmouth regularly, when we demand perfection from them at all times, when we pit siblings against one another (meaning we praise one or two regularly while degrading another), and when we consistently break promises. But we\u2019re human! We must learn to walk in humility before our children, admitting our mistakes; asking them to forgive us when we\u2019ve hurt, offended, or sinned against them; and <strong>modeling for them what it looks like to walk in repentance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr>\n<p>You&#8217;ve been reading with Elicia and D.A. Horton from their book <em>Enter the Ring: Fighting Together for a Gospel-Saturated Marriage<\/em>. You can read a <a href=\"https:\/\/files.tyndale.com\/thpdata\/firstChapters\/978-1-63146-695-3.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">free excerpt of the intro and chapter one here.<\/a> D.A. and Elicia have been fighting for their marriage for over 15 years and are passionate about marriage and family discipleship. Get your copy of the book or learn more about D.A. and Elicia at <a href=\"http:\/\/dahorton.com\/books\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">entertheringbook.com<\/a><\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/p\/enter-the-ring\/9781631466953?utm_source=Disciplemaker&amp;utm_medium=Disciples%2C%20Not%20Dependents&amp;utm_campaign=Enter%20the%20Ring\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">GET THE BOOK<\/a><\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-5003 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/Horton1-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"305\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If we are Christ followers, we\u2019re not raising mere dependents\u2014we\u2019re raising up disciples! Our children will do what we say for only a little while; soon they will begin doing what we do. Their eyes are watching what we do, &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"Raise Disciples, Not Dependents\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2018\/01\/disciples-not-dependents\/#more-4990\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Raise Disciples, Not Dependents<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":4996,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":""},"categories":[614,8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Raise Disciples, Not Dependents - The Disciplemaker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2018\/01\/disciples-not-dependents\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Raise Disciples, Not Dependents - The Disciplemaker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If we are Christ followers, we\u2019re not raising mere dependents\u2014we\u2019re raising up disciples! 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