{"id":8337,"date":"2020-05-14T14:04:47","date_gmt":"2020-05-14T19:04:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thedisciplemaker.org\/?p=8337"},"modified":"2022-07-29T15:23:47","modified_gmt":"2022-07-29T15:23:47","slug":"inviting-pain-welcoming-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2020\/05\/inviting-pain-welcoming-grief\/","title":{"rendered":"Inviting Pain &amp; Welcoming Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2022\/02\/how-do-we-make-sense-of-grief-in-this-life\/\">Grief <\/a>requires us to acknowledge and surrender to our throbbing, it is easy to have contempt for this reality and deny its invitation into our lives. I would argue for grief\u2019s essential role in our lives as the 16th-century mystic\/poet Rumi stated, \u201c<a href=\"\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2022\/07\/four-words-that-help-move-me-from-grief-to-acceptance\/\">Grief <\/a>is the doorway to God.\u201d If we deny grief, we deny the very God of our universe. We must give permission for grief to take residence in us and bless its occupation in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The British poet Denise Levertov, writes a powerful imagery of grief taking up residence in our homes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\"><em>Ah, Grief, I should not treat you<\/em><br>\n<em>like a homeless dog<\/em><br>\n<em>who comes to the back door<\/em><br>\n<em>for a crust, for a meatless bone.<\/em><br>\n<em>I should trust you.<\/em><br>\n<em>I should coax you<\/em><br>\n<em>into the house and give you<\/em><br>\n<em>your own corner,<\/em><br>\n<em>a worn mat to lie on,<\/em><br>\n<em>your own water dish.<\/em><br>\n<em>You think I don\u2019t know you\u2019ve been living<\/em><br>\n<em>under my porch.<\/em><br>\n<em>You long for your real place to be readied<\/em><br>\n<em>before winter comes. You need<\/em><br>\n<em>your name,<\/em><br>\n<em>your collar and tag. You need<\/em><br>\n<em>the right to warn off intruders,<\/em><br>\n<em>to consider<\/em><br>\n<em>my house your own<\/em><br>\n<em>and me your person<\/em><br>\n<em>and yourself<\/em><br>\n<em>my own dog.<\/em><\/pre>\n\n\n\n<p>Inviting grief to take residence in us does not mean we are excited about its arrival. No. We rebel, and we still fight with its harsh realities, we curse, we pray, and somehow simultaneously we surrender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2>Grief reminds us the world is not the way it&#8217;s supposed to be<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We live in a fallen, broken world. If you live on this earth long enough you will taste the sour stench of death, a heartache marred by infidelity and violence. Grief has been with us the entire time. Why resist what is already true? If you haven\u2019t suffered immense loss or betrayal, you will. If you open your heart and surrender your life to God, you must feel the depth of what it means to be fully human. We all know ache; it is only fitting to acknowledge what your body already knows to be true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-coblocks-click-to-tweet\"><p class=\"wp-block-coblocks-click-to-tweet__text\">If we deny grief, we deny the very God of our universe. We must give permission for grief to take residence in us and bless its occupation in our lives.<\/p><a class=\"wp-block-coblocks-click-to-tweet__twitter-btn has-button-color\" style=\"background-color:#d19f2a\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/share?&amp;text=If%20we%20deny%20grief%2C%20we%20deny%20the%20very%20God%20of%20our%20universe.%20We%20must%20give%20permission%20for%20grief%20to%20take%20residence%20in%20us%20and%20bless%20its%20occupation%20in%20our%20lives.&amp;url=https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/inviting-pain-welcoming-grief\/&amp;via=NavPress\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Tweet<\/a><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>It will feel like death because, in one sense, facing your deepest grief is death. The temptation will be to try and resist your crucifixion. It\u2019s okay if you are fearful to face your own death, Jesus was. In the garden of Gethsemane, he said, \u201cFather, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.\u201d (Matthew 26:39) Jesus\u2019s soul was \u201cdeeply grieved to the point of death\u201d (Matthew 26:38), looking for any way out of the agony that was to come. But Jesus knew who he was and the liberation that He was meant to bring. Though our choice to face our own death stories will not bring the possibility of salvation for an entire world it will help set others free and must be fought for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So my next question is, how do you want to die? Do you want a slow suicidal death from cowardly denial of your own heartache or a bold death from courageously facing it? You will be dead either way, how do you want to go out? I would far rather die with courage than being a coward. Most days, I choose courage, to die swinging my sword at the darkness rather than allowing it to envelop me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What about you? Where in your story have you yet to grieve?<br>\nWhat is your terror to face your greatest heartaches?<br>\nWhere in your story feels like a death?<br>\nWhere do you need to ask God to grant you courage to face within?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author\"><figure class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author__avatar\"><img alt=\"Andrew Bauman\" class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author__avatar-img\" src=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/BAUMAN-Author-Photo-bordered.png\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author__content\"><span class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author__name\">Andrew Bauman<\/span><p class=\"wp-block-coblocks-author__biography\">You&#8217;ve been reading with <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/tag\/andrew-bauman\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Andrew Bauman<\/strong><\/a> and his new book <em><strong><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/p\/stumbling-toward-wholeness\/9781631467776?utm_source=Disciplemaker&amp;utm_medium=Parent%20Inside%20You&amp;utm_campaign=Stumbling%20Toward%20Wholeness\" target=\"_blank\">Stumbling Toward Wholeness: How the Love of God Changes Us<\/a><\/strong>.<\/em> Where are you on your journey with God? Are you the prodigal? The bitter brother? The loving father? Andrew uses a timeless story to show how you can overcome shame, addiction, pride, and the other things hindering your healing journey.\u00a0<strong><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/p\/stumbling-toward-wholeness\/9781631467776?utm_source=Disciplemaker&amp;utm_medium=Parent%20Inside%20You&amp;utm_campaign=Stumbling%20Toward%20Wholeness\" target=\"_blank\">Read chapter 1 for free here.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/tag\/andrew-bauman\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">More from Andrew<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/p\/stumbling-toward-wholeness\/9781631467776?utm_source=Disciplemaker&amp;utm_medium=Parent%20Inside%20You&amp;utm_campaign=Stumbling%20Toward%20Wholeness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img src=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/wp-content\/uploads\/Stumbling-Toward-Wholeness-244x300.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5757\" width=\"360\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grief requires us to acknowledge and surrender to our throbbing, it is easy to have contempt for this reality and deny its invitation into our lives. I would argue for grief\u2019s essential role in our lives as the 16th-century mystic\/poet &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"Inviting Pain &amp; Welcoming Grief\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2020\/05\/inviting-pain-welcoming-grief\/#more-8337\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Inviting Pain &amp; Welcoming Grief<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":8341,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":""},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[47,243,494],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Inviting Pain &amp; Welcoming Grief - The Disciplemaker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.navpress.com\/sites\/thedisciplemaker\/2020\/05\/inviting-pain-welcoming-grief\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Inviting Pain &amp; Welcoming Grief - The Disciplemaker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Grief requires us to acknowledge and surrender to our throbbing, it is easy to have contempt for this reality and deny its invitation into our lives. 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