A foundational truth is that God created us in his image. As followers of Jesus, we are to look more and more like him. It’s never too soon to start teaching this beautiful reality to even the littlest among us, whether they are your children, step-children, Sunday school students, or kids in your neighborhood. In Teresa Roberts’ first of three questions, she helps us see how we begin to create a story about our lives in childhood, and how that shapes our lives.
Answer: I am loved by God.
What was your nickname when you were a child? What did your parents call you? What did your friends call you? How did that shape what you thought about yourself? Maybe you had self-confidence because the nickname was encouraging. Perhaps we all have endured a nickname we preferred not to have and to this day react negatively when someone calls us that.
Now consider the names you use for the children in your life. What words do you commonly use to describe them? Do those words encourage their gifts and talents or the characteristics of God they exhibit?
From the time we enter the world, we create a story about our own lives. And that story shapes the things we tell ourselves about ourselves as we mature. Woven into this are the stories we hear others share about us and how we find ourselves fitting in, or not, in our family and social world.
As a child reaches puberty, you may observe them trying to answer the question Who am I? Children may try a new activity, listen to a different genre of music, or choose to dress in a different style to help them answer this question. Regardless of which social group they’ve connected with, ethnic group they were born into, sport they play, or academic ability they possess, all children share the same identity under God.
The answer to the question Who am I? is this: I am loved by God.
Our holy, perfect, majestic, awesome, glorious God loves us. Yes, God is perfect and just and hates sin. But God loves us despite our sin. Yes, God desires us to be obedient to His commands, to walk in His ways. But God loves us even in our disobedience. Yes, God created humanity to love Him and love others. But God loved us first.
Paul writes a description of love to the church in Corinth. This well-known passage from 1 Corinthians 13 is often read as two people join their lives in marriage, but this passage is best read as a description of God’s love for us that we might then extend to others. A colleague of mine recently suggested replacing the word love with the word God to understand the depth of God’s love for us.
[God] is patient, [God] is kind. [God] does not envy, [God] does not boast, [God] is not proud. [God] does not dishonor others, [God] is not self-seeking, [God] is not easily angered, [God] keeps no record of wrongs. [God] does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [God] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. [God] never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, emphasis mine)
How would a child’s day-to-day life be different if every moment she were aware of the truth that God loves her? How would your life be different? (If you would like to understand the nature of God’s love, the author recommends also reading The Good and Beautiful God.)
A child can learn from infancy that God loves him by the words that are spoken over him in his crib and songs that are sung over him as he is rocked to sleep. As he grows into a toddler and preschooler, repeat these words and guide him in saying and singing them out loud. When a child reaches his elementary school years, continue to remind him of this truth. As you read Bible stories that point to God’s love, remind your child that God loves him just like He loved Abraham, Moses, and Mary. When you remind your child with the words “I love you,” add the truth that “God loves you even more.”
As a child becomes aware of his or her sin and expresses feelings of guilt, remind them that God forgives their sin because of His great love for them. Encourage them to memorize and repeat verses like “God so loved the world” (John 3:16) and “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19) or “nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39). When a child experiences consequences for their sins, remind them that God corrects those He loves (Proverbs 3:11-12) and forgives all our sins (1 John 1:9).
One of my favorite things to do is lead children in singing songs of praise and adoration. A few years ago, a song became very popular on Christian radio and in congregational singing—Good, Good Father. The chorus contains these words:
You’re a good, good Father. It’s who you are. It’s who you are. It’s who you are. And I’m loved by You. It’s who I am. It’s who I am. It’s who I am. As we sing the words “And I’m loved by you,” I lead children in using the “I love you” sign from American Sign Language. We make that sign in the air above our heads and hold it as we lower our hands and place them over our hearts. The message of this motion is: Who am I? I am loved by God. My prayer as we sing is though the children might not yet fully understand the words or the signs they used, this message will be imprinted on their hearts and minds.
In the next post, we’ll consider the second question about our identity, Where do I fit in?.
Teresa Roberts
Teresa Roberts is Professor of Ministry and Christian Formation, Program Director of Children’s Ministry, and a vice president at Ozark Christian College. She is an expert in children’s spiritual formation training with more than 25 years of ministry experience.
Dr. Roberts holds a Master of Arts in Family and Youth Ministry, a Master of Divinity, and a Doctor of Ministry. She serves in children’s ministry at Carterville Christian Church where she attends with her husband and step-daughter.