Making a Decision? Here’s Help to Pray Through It.

This post is the voice of Jan Johnson, author of When the Soul Listens: Finding Rest and Direction in Contemplative Prayer. Here, Jan shows us why it usually works to wait when in doubt. She gives us an example of how she prayerfully navigated a decision that her son needed to make.

Asking God questions involves waiting for an answer, which is a problem only if you’re asking only for utilitarian purposes—to get what you want now. But when we understand that we live in union with God, waiting means you already have what you ultimately want—life with God.

Active waiting increases trust in God that more will be revealed when you’re ready for it. When I had to make an important decision regarding some opportunities my son had been presented with, I was bombarded with propaganda. I had a hunch that one choice was better, but my son wanted the other one. In one day, people checked with me hour by hour to find out what my decision was. Finally, I told these people I wouldn’t know until the next day.

In the quiet of that nondecision, I asked God, “What do I need to know?” As I returned to work, other questions formed in me: “God, what are your goals for my son? What character qualities have you been trying to build into this man who is really your son?”

That was simple. My son was already a go- getter, but I had prayed that he would grow a tender heart for others. My question became: “Which situation is filled with adults who exhibit a tender heart?” Suddenly the solution was simple. I chose the group whose adult leaders exhibited the tender heart I wanted my son to have.

The contemplative way has taught me to pause when things are unclear and wait for clarity. I used to hate the phrase When in doubt, wait. Now I see this as wisdom. At first it seemed risky, but I’ve found that God reveals small bits of wisdom as I wait.

The skill of active waiting also helps us live through wrong decisions. We ask God, “How do I live from the heart, behaving with justice and mercy, in this situation I should not have gotten myself into?”

One time I agreed to be a part of a conference simply because I thought it would help promote my books. Shortly after, I saw that the philosophy of the conference differed drastically from mine. I admitted to myself that I’d made my decision based solely on self-promotion. I had no business presenting there and would have figured that out if I’d waited. As I languished over my poor judgment, I asked God, “What am I to do now?”

As time passed, it seemed that God was asking me to do what I always do when I speak: to have the heart of Christ, to help people hear God. So I looked for people whose needs I could meet and stayed away from self-promotion. If I hadn’t asked God for input, I would have gone with a sour, self-critical attitude and accomplished little.