This is the third post in a six-part series, 6 Barriers to Sharing Your Faith—And How to Overcome Them, taken from the book, Lit Up with Love: Becoming Good-News People in a Gospel-Starved World by Derwin L. Gray. If you like what you’re reading, you can click through to the next post when you’re finished reading this one. Want to start at the beginning of the series? Click here to start with the first post. This post dives into Barrier #3. It’s based on Lifeway Research and a framework created by Ken Boa and featured in his book, Conformed to His Image (with a change in Barrier #5 from A Barrier of Isolation to Derwin Gray’s A Barrier of Shame, which we dive into in this post).
According to Gray, barriers aren’t walls; they’re invitations. When you’re lit up with love, you know that barriers are opportunities to press deeper into Christ and rely on the Holy Spirit’s power.
The Barrier of Inadequacy
Most of the time when I share Jesus with the lost, I feel inadequate. I think, What if they ask a question I don’t know the answer to? What if they bring up a way Christians or Christian leaders have failed or hurt them? If a person asks me a question that I do not know the answer to, I’ve learned to say, “I don’t know. Why don’t we study the topic together?” If someone becomes angry or combative, I say, “I’m sorry if I offended you. I can see this is a hard topic to discuss. Let’s take a break. If you want to talk at another time, I’m more than willing.” When someone asks me about a church scandal or shares about how Christians have hurt them, I apologize. I’ve learned to say, “What happened was evil and must never happen again. I stand with you against evil. Sadly, often Jesus’ people act in ways that are the opposite of Jesus. But Jesus will never hurt you. He is the only sinless and safe person, and he will keep and sustain you.”
When you think about sharing your faith with someone, do you feel inadequate too? Perhaps you play out scenarios in your mind where someone starts asking you theological questions you can’t answer. Or maybe you envision accidentally saying the “wrong” thing, prompting them to become combative or angry.
I have some good news for both of us: God the Holy Spirit uses inadequate people like you and me in mind-blowing, transformative ways!
Such is the confidence we have through Christ before God. It is not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. (Read 2 Corinthians 3:4-5.)
This barrier of inadequacy is also an invitation. Jesus is calling you to grow in the grace and knowledge of knowing him. For example, if you’re noticing that you are nervous about sharing some aspect of the gospel or being asked about some theological point, you don’t have to stay in that feeling: You can do something with it.
When I first came to Jesus, I was enthusiastic with very little biblical knowledge. One day, I was sharing the gospel with someone who didn’t know Jesus—but who did know the Bible. He turned me into a theological pretzel. After being spiritually kicked around like a soccer ball for two hours, I walked to my car with my head hanging low. Before I drove off, I put my head on the steering wheel and cried. Then I made Jesus a promise: that I would never allow that to happen again. I promised to study the Bible and learn theology and apologetics. Jesus has done too much for me and the world for me not to prepare myself for conversations about him. (Read 1 Peter 3:15.) One of the reasons I have a doctorate in the New Testament in context and a master of divinity with a concentration in apologetics is because of that moment. When you’re lit up with love, you want to be equipped for whatever questions or needs you encounter.
But we don’t need an advanced degree in theology or apologetics to study Scripture and learn how to thoughtfully respond to many people’s most basic questions. (Read 2 Timothy 2:15 and perhaps some apologetics resources.) We don’t need to be a counselor or a pastor to empathize with how they’ve been wounded. Jesus is too good and too beautiful for us not to study and be prepared. (Read 1 Peter 3:15-16.) He is too invested in people’s restoration for us to not learn how to be with them in their pain.
When you’re ready, move on to The Barrier of Indifference.
Derwin L. Gray
Dr. Derwin L. Gray is the co-founding and lead pastor of Transformation Church (TC), one of the fastest growing churches in America. TC is a multiethnic, multigenerational, mission-shaped community near Charlotte, NC. Pastor Derwin and his wife, Vicki, have been married since 1992 and have two children: daughter, Presley, and son, Jeremiah. He is a bestselling author of several books including The Good Life, Limitless Life, God, Do You Hear Me?, Building a Multiethnic Church, and How to Heal Our Racial Divide.